I'm going insane!

As you have probably realised, I'm not the best at dealing with stressful situations and quite frankly, I'm finding it very difficult to keep focused on all the jobs that need doing.

But at night, when I'm dreaming, my insanity goes wild and my dreams are really bizarre. Last night I dreamed that it was our first day at the new vet surgery and our very first patient was a roast duck! The lady had brought the duck in because she wanted Pat to make sure the bird didn't have bird flu before she ate it!!!! I remember thinking how bizarre this was, but couldn't say anything because I have no experience of working in a vets and Pat & the vet nurse were acting normally. I also had to control myself from eating some of the duck because it smelled so delicious!! Yes - I think you should arrange the "ambulance" for me right now!!! ;o)

Pat had a meeting with the solicitor yesterday. The house sale is going OK - except that the purchaser's solcitior is insisting that we supply the original planning permission for our house which was built 15 years ago! Weird! Anyway, I've organised it with the council who are charging £100 for the priviledge. Barmy, isn't it??

The purchase of the business isn't going quite as well. It all seems to be in a total mess to be honest. I think that both sets of solicitors (ours and the vendor's) are crap and keep saying they've sent stuff / not received stuff and we don't believe them! At the moment, completion the week beginning the 12th Dec is highly unlikely and therefore on 16th Dec when the vendors go on holiday, Pat will have to take over as a locum until the sale completes. Nightmare!

Tonight is Pat's leaving do - even though he's not leaving until next week. I imagine all the girls from the vets will get drunk and flash their tits like they normally do - the only reason that I'm looking forward to it is because I'm wearing my NEW BOOTS!! :o))

Sarah
xx

PS I've prided myself on being at work all day and doing NO Work at all!! How naughty am I? The boss is off, so I've been able to scive. I spent all morning dealing with postal redirection, stuff for the accountant and dealing with the council about obtaining the planning permission, interspersed with large bouts of chatting. Then this afternoon, I've been on the internet and done some Xmas shopping, been into town and now I'm updating my diary. After this I'll be on the discussion forums! Tut tut. But I'm only here for another ** 7 ** days, so I DON'T CARE!! What a rebel I am, hey? ;o)

It's all under control ...just!

Apart from having a constant headache, sleepness nights and thrush from all the stress, I'm fine ;o))

We've made a pretty good start with the packing - still loads to do, though. God knows what's happening with the purchase of the business - we haven't even seen the contract yet. And the deeds to our house have gone missing and no-one is going to take responsibility for losing them. The upshot is that we need to get copies of the planning permission for the garage conversion and our friendly council are going to charge us £100 for the priviledge, even though it's not us that's lost them! Charming, hey!

It all sounds horrible, doesn't it and I'm sure a lot of you don't envy the situation we're in, but I'm trying very hard not to let it all get on top of me and am doing things that I CAN do (eg calling utlity companies, etc) and just trying to forget things that I can't do anything about (eg what the solicitor is doing) and let it go over my head.

On top of everything else, Sonia phoned me in hysteria because she has had her smear test result come back abnormal. Now, I've been nagging her for years to go for her smear test and she's kept putting it off & putting it off because she doesn't like the pain/humiliation. Well - she should try having a suspected miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, 2 d&c's and 2 cycles of IVF and then she'll know about pain and humilitation!! So, I calmed her down and tried to assure her that it's nothing to worry about and also that the colposcopy treatment is OK. (I had it about 8 years ago and as much as I may pretend to her it was OK, it was horrible! They used a local anaesthetic and to this day I can feel that huge needle in my cervix followed by the burning smell!) But she hasn't had a smear test for about 10 years so secretly I'm very worried about her - I just hope all is OK. So, she rings her mum and asks her to go with her to the hospital and her mum said No! That she was too bothered by her own problems and couldn't go!! So guess who's going with her instead??? Me!!!! I don't think she'll get the appoitment until the new year when hopefully my move will have all been sorted out.

One more worry - I have got tickets to go to Olympia horse show the Saturday before Xmas and until recently, I've been looking forward to it. We always go as a 4 - Me, My mum, her friend Sue, who's my mum's age and Jo, my mum's ex-colleague who is about 3 years older then me. Anyway, about a month ago, my mum announced in the unsubtle way that people who've never suffered from infertility do that Jo is pregnant again (Jo is the usual got pregnant first time first go - has been ttc #2 for all of 6 months and feels hard done by because it's "taking so long!") So Jo will be about 7 months pregnant when we go to Olympia and I'm dreading it. As much as I find people with children difficult to deal with, pregnant women make me feel phycially sick with jealousy. My mum was on about it again today how she's looking forward to it - it hasn't even entered her head that seeing Jo will be hard for me. So, I'm going to make an excuse that I can't go because of the move/business and it's tough titty if my mum is offended - is that awful of me?

Oh well, onto less stressful news - Pat, my brother Paul and his girlfriend Alice were going to go gliding today (I was going to watch) but it was cancelled at the last minute due to low lying cloud. I was secretly glad because I didn't fancy 3 hours in a freezing field watching them all up in the sky. As we're moving and will be a long way from the gliding club in the Dunstable Downs, Pat isn't sure when/if he'll be able to do it again so he's going to give the ticket to my other brother - Phil. So, I've got a free afternoon in the end - better get packing I suppose!

Sarah
xx

PS Yesterday we had a really good look round the garden and found one tortoise (Beryl) but Edith was nowhere to be seen! So Beryl is now snuggled in her hibernation box and Edith's is still horribly empty. :o( I have a bad feeling we will be moving without her...

Worry, worry, worry !!!

Only *** 19 **** days until we move!! Aaaarrrrggghhh !!!!

It's all happening so fast! Am totally panicking! Have just realised that it's December next week and that we are moving early December which means it's nearly here!!

I've booked the removal company and have started packing (and panicking!) I keep getting a knot in my stomach of nerves because there's still so much to do before we go. And there seems to be a huge amount to do in relation to the purchase of the business - I can't see how it's all going to happen before Christmas....

I'm sure it's normal for someone in our position but I keep thinking "what if we get no clients and the business goes down the drain?!" I know it's not likely, but after being used to the guarantee of a wage every month, knowing our income is likely to be dodgy - at least at the start - is a very scary thought.

And just to worry myself a bit more - only 12 more work days!! Which is good in one respect but that also means only 12 more days of paid salary!!!

The good news is that I have convinced the removal company to come really early in the morning and move us in just one day - so we don't have to worry about my mum not wanting us there for the night. I'm sure that's not the case but I can't help wondering why she said what she did if she was 100% happy about things. I mean, if we really didn't have anywhere to go, we would have had to stay in the new house overnight with no furniture, but as she has a spare room, would it have been the end of the world? Oh, I don't know. And in the whole scheme of things, isn't worth worrying about - I have plenty of real things to worry about after all, don't I?


Gossip

I have some gossip. My brother, Phil, who is working in Malaysia has just announced that he has got a girlfriend called Yanti from Indonesia. I don't know anything about her but can't help thinking that she's the stereotypical Asian woman - a waitress or dancer looking for a british passport, but I'm probably totally wrong. Have just emailed him asking for all the gossip and will update when I know more. From all his flying to & from Kuala Lumpar, he has loads of airmiles so I have suggested he uses them to fly Yanti to England so we can all meet her. Big problem - do I tell Helen (his ex who I am seeing next Saturday?) As she is the one who left him, I don't see why not.

Sarah
xx

Perhaps I am appreciated after all...

I have received a letter from my boss in response to my “handing in notice” letter. I’m quite touched because I always thought she was a bit of a cow and although sometimes she was nice, other times, she was “off”. This is what the letter said

Thank you for your letter of xx. As you know, we are all extremely sorry that
you are having to leave us but quite understand the necessity for you to do
so.

I have to say that I have enjoyed working with you and have
much appreciated your abilities, conscientiousness, initiative and humour. You
will be greatly missed and I will happily give you a reference if it is
required.

We all wish you and Patrick every success with your new
venture and hope you will soon settle into your new home.

This always happens - you think for ages that you would like to leave and when you know it's on the cards, you start thinking that you like it there after all and DONT want to go! I'm sure I'll get over it, though! ;o)

Sarah
xx

Wales, moving, tortoises and more ....!

We went to Wales at the weekend and despite sub zero temperatures, really enjoyed ourselves. We stayed with our friends Ross & Liz who live on a farm in North Wales. It's very cold at the moment and even colder in Wales and last week, they announced they weren't using their storage heaters because of the cost! As I enjoy my centrally heated modern home, the thought of a weekend in a 200 year old stone cottage with no heating worried me a lot!!! In the end I spent the weekend wearing a vest, a t shirt, polo neck, cardigan and fleece and still felt cold!

Ross & Liz are always good company, although they're very disorganised and do the most funny things! This time round, we got there and Liz was a mess, there was washing up everywhere (she tried to make us a cup of tea but there were no clean cups!) and she couldn't find Simon their dog and was chasing all over the place trying to find him. In the end, Ross turned up - with Simon, who he'd found on the road! How that dog has managed to live to age 8, I'll never know. There's the dangers of the main road and the farmer's guns if he goes into the fields after the sheep. My 2 dogs were pleased to see Simon, who is gay and fancies Teddy!!

Liz works for the Crown Prosecution Service as a solicitor in Liverpool and is always regalling us with stories of what the Scouser criminal classes are doing with themselves! Ross owns a vet practice in Chester and it is the fact that he can make a profit, despite having no business acumen at all, that has given us the confidence to go out on our own.

We took a trip into Chester on Saturday night and enjoyed a good few glasses of valpolicella and a lovely meal. We then went back to theirs and was warm for the only time during the whole weekend, because they lit the wood burning stove in the living room and got lovely and hot!

On Sunday, although it was cold, it was a beautiful sunny day and we went for a brilliant walk up the hillside - which the dogs really enjoyed, and then went to the pub for a Sunday roast. Yum yum!

The traffic was pretty bad on the way home, but I was back in time for Corrie - so not too bad!

Back to reality today, though. Work wasn't too bad but I have to rush home in a minute because we have a removal man to come round to confirm moving arrangements.

The removal men mentioned that it might be a 2 day job, since we're moving 100 miles and they were planning on loading up one day and unloading the next. This would mean that our stuff would be on the van overnight and and therefore we would all need a place to stay. I suggested to my mum that we all stay at theirs but she said "when we moved to the house we're in now, we didn't have any furniture and just slept on the floor" I don't know whether that means she doesn't want us to stay ... Will have to see.


The saga of the tortoises

We have lost the tortoises. I said to Pat that as soon as it got frosty at night that we had to hibernate them. I got their boxes all ready with luxurious paper linings and decided last Thursday was The Day. We went out into the garden and looked under the bush where they were last seen and ...they've gone! I looked everywhere and can only assume they've dug themselves in somewhere as protection against the cold.

One of the nurses at Pat's practice is a tortoise expert and is going to look in some likely places. If we can't find them, we'll have to move without them :o( and leave a note for the new owners to tell us when they see them emerge in the spring!! Poor Beryl & Edith - I'm sure they'd prefer a nice warm box instead of the cold wet earth!

Sarah
xx

PS I forgot to say that after the lady with the black lab got her telling off from the dog warden, she wrote me a letter to apologise - no money, though, despite being loaded - there's a surprise!!!!

Trying to think happy thoughts

Am still really missing my pussycat, Henry, but am trying really hard to look to the future and be more positive. I really want to sob hysterically about it, but it won't help, so am not letting myself think about it. Every time I think about him and start feeling sad, I force myself to think happy thoughts.

The "thinking happy thoughts" has been made easier by the fact that we found somewhere to live at the weekend. Hurrah! We looked at 4 rental properties and one of them will be ideal for us. It's a modest 3 bed semi which will mean a squeeze with all our stuff, but it's got a nice garden and will be practical with the animals because it has a large kitchen with nice practical lino. It also has a large garage separate to the house and will be good for storage.

I'm counting the days until I can leave my job and we can start our new life in Hampshire - am really excited about it!!!

Sarah
xx

A tribute to Henry

I just wanted to say that I am very sad that I had to say goodbye to my pussycat, Henry. It had to be done - we couldn't live with the spray any longer, but I loved him so much....

I still can't believe he's gone - he's been an important part of my life for the last 14 years and I think of him as my baby - Gone but never forgotten.

Sarah
xx

A sad day

Something very unleasant is happening today - Pat is going to put my cat, Henry down. He's a ginger tom who was "done" at 5 months old but still sprays all over the house no matter what we do. We've tried letting him be an only cat - no difference - we've tried drugs - no difference and this morning was the final straw when he sprayed all over Pat's clean clothes and when he put them on he was stinking of cat pi55. This morning Pat said that it was him or the cat because he's had enough after 14 years of being pissed on. It's not funny, but over the years the cat has sprayed in some awful places - twice on me, in Pat's motorbike helmet and when he put the helmet on, it was all over his face! In the toaster and pat's toast was soaked in pi55! All over important documents, in our electric sockets -causing the whole system to go off - and huge electrician's bill. I could go on and on .....

It causes huge arguments and stress in our relationship and this morning was the last straw. I truth, we can't really take him to rented accommodation and have him pi55 everywhere, so I said to Pat to do it today before I change my mind.

:o(

Sarah
xx

I'm in a good mood, today!!! And I've got new boots!

For the first time in ages, I feel happy! The stress of the last few weeks has really been getting to me and now that we have a date to move (12th December) and I've told my boss I'm leaving, I've got something to work towards. I know there's still a lot to do, but I feel it's all much more in control.

The dog warden has spoken to the owner of the black lab, told her off and insisted she pay the £138 to me - even though I haven't had to pay it to the vets!! I bet she won't pay, though! She lives in a massive house and has a real "I'm better than you" attitude so I'm not expecitng to hear from her. The fact that she got told off by the dog warden has made me feel better though!!! I hope all her neighbours were loooking over the 10 foot walls and through the wrought iron gates and wondering why the dog warden was there!!! ;o) Maureen is now totally fine and doesn't appear traumatised by her ordeal - luckily! And she's enjoying her antibitoics because I put them in a treat eg cheese or ham or pate. She thinks it's great!!!

I ordered some knee high boots off the internet and they came yesterday and are GORGEOUS!!! They have a high heel and I can tuck my skinny fit jeans into them - I look really slim and really trendy in them!!! I will try and upload a pic of the boots from the internet - not sure if it will work, though.

Sarah
xx

Feeling slightly less stressed

I feel a lot better now because yesterday I told my boss that I’m leaving – which is a real weight off my mind, I can tell you. I can now openly take calls in the office from solicitors and estate agents – which is nice. So far, she’s been OK about it. She seemed a bit over-happy yesterday (hysterical, even?) but it came to her as a real shock, so I can’t blame her. Apart from a couple of comments about being left in the lurch, she’s been OK.

We’ve lined up 6 rental properties to view on Saturday and I’ve got Monday off so we can view some more then if we need to. I just hope something is suitable and then, once I know where we’ll be living, it will be a real weight off my mind.

Apart from The Move, not much else is happening. I was exhausted from the stress of it all at the weekend, so apart from working on Saturday, stayed at home and chilled out a bit. Mind you, Sunday afternoon didn’t end up relaxing in the end because my little dog, Maureen, got attacked and bitten by a horrible black Labrador while we were out on our walk!!! The owner of the dog was a right B*tch and refused to accept that her dog had done anything wrong - even though my poor little girl was holding her paw up and crying with blood pouring down her leg! Her comment was "labradors don't bite" Eh???? She must be nuts! The evidence was there for her to see! I was furious - mostly about her lack of concern and have taken her name & address and reported her to the dog warden as owning a "dangerous dog". They'll go round and see her about it and insist her dog is always on a lead in the future. (hee hee) I have also written her a letter telling her how disgusted I was with her attitude and that if my husband hadn't been a vet, I would have been sueing her for the vet bill of £138. If she'd apologised, I wouldn't have been as annoyed because these things happen - but it was her "I couldn't care less" attitude, lack of apology and saying that it was Maureen's fault that annoyed me!!!

Poor little Maureen ended up with an anaesthetic while the wounds were cleaned and clipped, the area was very clearly bruised but after an xray, luckily showed no breaks. She's now on antibiotics and painkillers for a week until the wound heals.

It will be interesting to know whether I get any response from the old cow.

Sarah
xx

Things aren't quite going to plan!!

I had a bit of a hysterical fit yesterday. The trouble is, I'd decided to take the house across from the surgery - on paper it was ideal with 3 bedrooms and a garage. Sunday (tomorrow) was the first opportunity that I'd had to go & view it with work commitments and then the agent rang me yesterday and told me it had been let. I was gutted and started having a total panic - but had to keep it all inside because they don't know yet at work that I'm leaving. I just sat at my desk going nuts inside and just couldn't think straight. I got home and burst into tears and in true Sarah - fashion, I got it all out of proportion and decided that we were never going to find somewhere to rent and we would be homeless. How silly am I, hey?

I am now a bit more in control of the situation. The only problem is that I've got Friday booked off work and have arranged to spend the whole weekend with Theresa (AKA Tel) but now I'm going to have to move my day off to the following Monday when Pat can come looking at houses as well. It's my last day's holiday so I can't "waste" it on socialising. Tel will be gutted as she was saying how much she's been looking forward to it. I feel like I'm such a cow cancelling her at this late stage - normally I would never let a friend down like that - I hope she'll understand!

I've printed quite a few "possible" houses off the internet and will arrange to view them either at the weekend or on Monday. None of them are as ideal as the house we missed out on but they'll have to do - it's only for a few months, after all!!!

Other than my mini-breakdown, not much else is happening. As far as we know, all is going smoothly with the sale of our house. The surveyor is coming on Monday and we're on course to complete on 12th December. I'm not so sure about the purchase of the business. The vendor's solicitors lost the deeds and have taken about 2 months to find them, so everything has been held up (at least it's not OUR fault!) Our solicitor thinks completing on the business week commencing 12th December is possible, but pushing it. Well - we're moving down whether the business goes through or not!

I am going to hand my notice in on Monday. I'm dreading it because my boss is a bit of a b*tch - I hope she's not too horrible to me!! Wish me luck!!!

I'm sitting here listening to the fireworks. Happy Fireworks night, everyone!! Tonight I expect you're all enjoying yourselves with your bangers and sparklers. I'm doing my usual and staying in and cuddling Maureen my dog who is terrified of fireworks! She's had 3 valium tonight and should be well chilled out, but it's like Beirut out there and she's still in a total state! It's the same for her every year - poor girl!!

You will see that I have managed to put a couple of photos on, now. It's not as simple as my last diary and will only take jpeg pics so most of mine aren't suitable to be posted. One day, I'll get it sorted out!!

Anyway - here's one of Pat & I on our wedding day and here's one of Sonia.

Sarah
xx

Sonia 

Our wedding day